


where the love-light gleams

by strawberry_sky



Category: Dimension 20 (Fantasy High), Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: (but like....they're all still Dealing With Stuff), Adaine's perspective, Canon Compliant, Gen, Holidays, Mostly Fluff, Post Season 1, Sledding, Snowball Fight, is this an excuse for me to write winter activities and a bunch of fraught conversations? absolutely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21880012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry_sky/pseuds/strawberry_sky
Summary: It's Winter Break of the Bad Kids' sophomore year, it's the Solstice, and there are no crises. There's just time to work on mysteries, to sled, to talk about the past and the future, to betogether.It's not perfect. They're still all dealing with a lot. But for Adaine, especially, this is the kind of happiness that comes with a warm drink, and half-finished songs, and laughter, and falling snow.(references to but no spoilers for Fantasy High Live!)
Relationships: Adaine & Jawbone O'Shaughnessy, Adaine & The Bad Kids
Comments: 16
Kudos: 110





	where the love-light gleams

**Author's Note:**

> this is my gift to the entire dimension 20 fandom: something sweet and seasonal and full of that good good found family love. i hope you all have an absolutely wonderful holiday and end to this year <3 <3 <3

“Tell me again about how the elves talk about the Nightmare King.” 

Riz is standing behind a desk covered in papers and books and coffee stains, fingertips resting lightly on the wooden surface as he studies the enormous cork board that takes up most of the wall in front of him, as if staring at it for long enough will make the disjointed clues rearrange themselves into a cohesive narrative.

Adaine glances up from the enormous tome balanced precariously on the edge of Riz's desk. She's perched on her seat like a bird, denim jacket draped over the back of the chair, orb resting on top of a file cabinet in the corner. "The elven tomes refer to him as Ri Ashling Olch, and think he’s either a fiend or an undead," she recites. "Why?"

Riz frowns, running one hand through his already messy hair. "Thought I had an idea but it makes no sense."

"Say it anyway.” Adaine closes the book and settles down in her chair. "It helps to talk it out." 

Riz glances over at her, then gives a determined nod. "Okay. Hear me out." He crosses around the side of the desk to stand in front of the conspiracy board. “Remember Sasha, the weirdly sexy vampire from the Black Pit fight? ‘Lord of Whispers’ kinda sounds like a Nightmare King thing, right? And  _ he  _ was undead.” Riz writes “Sasha???” on a sticky note and pins it up under their ‘possible aliases’ section, which already includes such names as ‘Johnny Spells,’ ‘Alston Hughes,’ ‘Jem Peppercorn,’ and, as the 2am result of a coffee-fueled brainstorming frenzy, ‘Gilear Faeth.’

"Interesting." Adaine squints at the board to see if it makes more sense if it's blurry. It doesn’t. "Maybe you were right the first time."

Riz deflates and walks back behind the desk. "Yeah, it was a stretch." 

"Although, wait," says Adaine slowly. Sometimes Riz's random flashes of ideas are nothing but sometimes they're secretly genius, and Adaine’s gotten good at picking out the difference between them. She sends out her Mage Hand and moves a sticky note to the other side of the board. " _ Could  _ it be connected to the Black Pit? Why did the Harvestmen hire DJ Brainzz? Did we ever learn?”

Riz is back to flipping through his notes. "I’m pretty sure they were just trying to kill Zayn."

"Hmmmmmmm," says Adaine thoughtfully, still focused on the board. She reaches for the mug at her right hand and takes a sip, then instantly makes a face at the taste of bitter, lukewarm coffee. Without looking, she slides the mug across the desk to Riz, who is already passing her her mug of tea. Both of them drink. 

Adaine glances over at Riz. Her friend looks tired, but only as much as Adaine feels. His cheeks aren’t sunken in, and he’s wearing a blue sweater that’s different than the sweater he was wearing yesterday, and they did leave his office a few hours ago to get lunch. So it’s not at concerning levels. 

Riz feels her gaze on him and looks over. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” says Adaine, leaning back and rubbing her eyes. “You?”

Riz nods. “Yeah. Lots of dead ends. But no one’s life is immediately at stake this time. And I think we’re making progress!” He offers a lopsided smile. 

They are making progress. In more ways than just with the Nightmare King.  _ “ _ I know,” she says. “We’ll get there eventually.” 

“The sooner the better, though,” says Riz, the moment of vulnerability passing. “This could be a bigger deal than we even know.” 

“Right,” says Adaine, heaving open her tome again. “I wanted to show you something I found in chapter 63--”

There’s a sudden noise from the stairwell, and both of them freeze, waiting in silence as the noise resolves into the distinct sound of quick and quiet footsteps rushing up the stairs. 

Riz and Adaine exchange a glance, and they both know it’s  _ probably nothing _ but still Riz is drawing his gun and holding it subtly beneath the desk. Adaine’s Mage Hand scoops up her orb and sets in on the desk in front of her where she can rest one hand on it. She feels every beat of her heart as the footsteps approach the door, as the doorknob turns, as the door is flung open--

“WHAT are you two doing up here!” rings out a familiar voice and Adaine’s shoulders sag in relief and exasperation as the shape of Fabian Seacaster fills the doorway. Riz rolls his eyes and sets his gun on the desk, picking up his coffee cup instead. 

Fabian sweeps into the room, shutting Adaine’s book and snatching Riz’s coffee out of his hand. “Come on, it’s the Solstice! We’re on break! Why are you  _ working _ ?”

“Maybe we enjoy it,” says Adaine mildly, carefully guarding her tea as Fabian dumps the contents of Riz’s cup out the window. 

Fabian shakes his head. “Nope. I’m not letting you two isolate yourselves on the Solstice, of all days. Come on, we’re going sledding.” 

“But we’re getting so close,” Riz protests half-heartedly, looking mournfully at the empty coffee mug Fabian just set down in front of him. 

“Of course you are, you’re both geniuses,” Fabian says airily, and Adaine glances over at Riz just in time to catch the proud flush on his cheeks. “But the Solstice only comes once a year and the Nightmare King’s not going anywhere. Come on, The Ball. Everyone’s waiting downstairs.” He grabs Adaine’s hat from the hook by the door and tosses it to her. 

“It  _ would  _ probably spark new ideas for us to have a break,” Adaine points out as she catches the hat and pulls it over her head. “And we’ve only got an hour ‘til we have to be at Jawbone’s for dinner, anyway.” 

“Alright,” Riz acquises. Adaine can tell he didn’t need  _ that  _ much convincing. Riz locks the door behind them, and all three of them leap down the stairs two at a time. 

The rest of their party is waiting just outside the door next to a small pile of plastic sleds. Gorgug and Fig are leaning against the brick wall, both wearing identical expressions of skepticism and a little bit of awe as Kristen is standing on the sidewalk, staff in one hand, passionately explaining something. 

“It’s not about trying to tell the Swamps what to  _ do _ ,” she’s saying as they come out the door. “It’s about giving them the resources to improve their own quality of life! But honestly, maybe the fact that I  _ don’t  _ know if it’s the right thing to do means it  _ is  _ the right thing to do, that’s kinda my god’s whole  _ deal _ , ya know?” 

“It’s gonna get inspiring,” Gorgug mutters to Fig. 

If it was going to get inspiring, it doesn’t have time to, because now all of them are grabbing sleds and having a brief argument about which sledding hill is best (the one up by the abandoned mithril factory,  _ obviously _ ). 

Snow has slowly been stacking up over the last few days, and at this point it’s a layer of beautiful powder with a firm-packed foundation. Adaine has only gone sledding once before, last winter, but even she knows this will be perfect. 

It’s mid-afternoon, but already they’re only about an hour from sunset, and most Elmville residents seem to be returning back to their homes for Solstice celebrations, which typically included warm drinks, big meals, and exchanged gifts. Jawbone and Sandralynn offered to host a dinner at their house, right at sunset. Adaine and her friends have a little bit of time to kill. 

Gorgug and Riz take the lead on the way to the hill, Gorgug listening with a puzzled but interested expression as Riz explains what he and Adaine have been working on. Fig and Kristen fall back, passionately going back and forth about the best way to help the swamps. 

Fabian falls into step beside Adaine. “So, you and Riz get any information that will help us break my future girlfriend out of jail?” 

Adaine shoots Fabian a glare. “If you’re talking about my sister right now, I  _ will  _ cast  _ Ray of Sickness _ on you.” 

“What?” says Fabian, defensively. “She’s in need of rescue.” 

In a great triumph of self-control, Adaine manages to not actually cast an offensive spell on her friend, settling instead for punching him in the shoulder as hard as she can. “You can’t date my sister!” she says furiously. “She’s  _ evil _ ! She tried to kill me! She put a bunch of our friends in crystals!” 

“She was misled! And also,  _ ow _ !” says Fabian defensively. 

“She’s never been misled in her life, she knew exactly what she was doing.”

Fabian shoots her a very shrewd look. “Are you sure about that?” 

“Yes! I’m the one who fucking  _ lived  _ with her my whole life!” 

Adaine’s venom must be evident in her voice, because Fabian backs off, lifting his hands slightly in surrender and speaking in an uncharacteristically gentle tone. “No, of course, I understand. I did only meet her once. I'm just saying, my mother spent most of my childhood in a sensory deprivation egg, and yesterday she kicked my ass in a sword fight. We  _ killed _ Ragh, and now he's my best friend other than you guys. People do change." 

"It's not the same thing,” says Adaine, although she says it quietly, and with a little less vitriol. 

There’s a moment of silence between them. Behind them, Fig claps her hands triumphantly. “The ‘gators as transportation! That’s  _ genius! _ ”

“Besides,” says Adaine. “You only like her ‘cause she’s hot.” 

“That’s not true!” Fabian protests. “I also like her ‘cause she’s powerful, and would be a good ally.” 

“If a good ally stabs you in the back the first chance she gets.” 

“Well, we’ll keep an eye on her,” says Fabian, but his tone is teasing, and Adaine just rolls her eyes in response. Fabian grins, claps Adaine on the back, and then breaks into a dead sprint, yelling over his shoulder "Hey, The Ball! Race you to the top of the hill!” 

“You  _ know _ I can Dash as a bonus action!” Riz yells back, and then shrugs and takes off after Fabian anyway, overtaking him about halfway up the hill. 

The six of them spend the next hour getting entirely lost in snow and speed. They race, they create ramps, they slide down the hill all holding hands and end up all flipping off their sleds and ending up in a giant pile. Adaine uses _ Ray of Frost  _ to make the area before one ramp particularly slick, which gives Riz about eight seconds of airtime. Fabian attempts to prove that he can slide down the hill standing up, and actually makes it about three-quarters of the way down before his attempt to do some sort of sick trick leads to him spinning off course and falling into a snowbank. 

After what feels like her hundredth time down the hill, the thought of trudging back up is entirely too daunting for Adaine, so she sinks down in a snowbank at the bottom and leans back, watching her friends make the impossible journey back up for another round, Riz and Fabian having to jump out of the way as Fig comes careening down on a hot pink saucer. She spins to a stop near where Adaine is sitting and tumbles off into the snow, popping her head up to give Adaine a big grin. Fig’s cheeks are bright red from the cold, and her horns are sticking out the holes she cut in her knit cap. 

“That was a good one!” Adaine calls out.

“Thanks!” Fig pants, half-crawling through the snow to flop down right next to Adaine. “I’m kinda dizzy.” 

Adaine laughs, laying back so their heads are right next to each other. It’s barely 4:30, but above them, sunset is turning the clouds pink. 

Fig pulls her crystal out of her pocket and sighs. Adaine glances over to see her scrolling through a lock screen full of notifications. "Whoa," says Adaine. "What's going on?"

"My mom wants to know when we're coming to Jawbone's, she says the turkey's almost done. And all the rest of these are from Lola. Paperwork for us to sign, people for us to talk to, decisions we gotta make. I didn't know being a rock star was so  _ boring _ ." Fig sighs, shoves her crystal back in her pocket, and stares up at the sky. 

Right. The tour. "Everything's coming together well, though?" says Adaine lightly.

"Oh, yeah," says Fig with a big grin. "It's gonna be amazing. I can't wait."

"That's awesome," says Adaine, as sincerely as she can manage. She  _ is _ happy for Fig, and Gorgug, of course she is. She just doesn't like thinking about Aguefort without them. 

“It is,” says Fig. “It’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” 

“Why?” asks Adaine, genuinely curious.

Fig pauses for a second longer than Adaine expects her to. “I like seeing people smile,” she says after a minute. “But like...I like  _ making  _ them smile. I like hearing them yell my name. I wanna bring rock to the whole world.” 

The way Fig talks about it, it seems like she really  _ could  _ bring rock to the whole world. Like her mere presence would change the way everyone thinks about music. 

“Besides,” Fig continues, still staring up at the sky, “when I’m playing bass is when I really feel like  _ me _ , you know? Like, I always thought I knew who I was, and then I turned out to be something else, and now, I don’t know, I’m figuring it out, but I don’t think about that when I’m playing music.” 

“Mmmmmm,” says Adaine, feeling the cold snow under her hair and watching the pink clouds drift by above. “I like who you are when you’re playing music.” 

“Me too,” says Fig, quietly. 

A few moments pass in silence. Adaine and Fig’s crystals are both buzzing now, with “Fig, you on your way to Jawbone’s? Dinner’s almost ready” from Sandralynn and “yo kiddo turkey time” from Jawbone. 

“I guess we should get everyone together,” says Adaine, reluctantly sitting up.

Fig pops up next to her. “We can spare five minutes,” she says, a mischievous grin already curling up the corners of her mouth as she holds up the tightly packed ball of snow in her left hand.

“Oh, no,” says Adaine, not meaning it at all. 

Fig holds her free hand up to her mouth and and yells at the top of her lungs “Snowball fight! Boys versus girls! No weapons!”

“Challenge accepted!” Fabian yells back from across the hill. “Gorgug and The Ball and I call the top!” 

“This seems unbalanced,” Kristen points out, trudging over to where Adaine and Fig are sitting. “We’re the ones with magic.” 

Fig winks at her.

In only a few minutes, both sides are hunkered down behind tall walls of snow. 

"What are we going to do about their height advantage?" Kristen whispers as she peers over their wall at the currently-silent fort the boys have built at the top of the hill. 

"I've got a plan," says Adaine. "Want to be the distraction, Fig?"

"Yes. Fuck yes," says Fig immediately.

"Then let's flip this height advantage around," says Adaine, and she grabs Fig's shoulder and casts  _ Fly _ . 

Because Adaine and her friends are who they are, the fight goes from 0-100 almost immediately. Fig bombards the boys' fort from above while Fabian performs truly impressive feats of jumping in order to hit her with snowballs. Adaine casts  _ Catapult _ on huge piles of snow that Kristen constructs, but Gorgug seems not to mind, even without being in a rage. 

Suddenly Adaine realizes with a sinking feeling that she hasn't seen Riz in several rounds. Shortly after she has this realization, the fight ends when the question of “can you do Sneak Attack damage with a snowball” is answered with a resounding  _ “yes,”  _ which results in Fig just straight up casting  _ Shatter  _ and blowing the boys’ fort apart, which results in Gorgug finally flying into a rage. Kristen and Riz hastily negotiate a temporary truce with a promise to “finish this later,” and everyone heads for Jawbone’s house wet and exhausted but in very good moods. Adaine and Gorgug collect the last few sleds and bring up the rear. 

Gorgug slings his free arm around Adaine’s shoulders. “That was fun,” he says. 

“I agree,” says Adaine, grinning up at him. “It’s fun to fight when no one is getting killed for real.” 

“Like Bloodrush.” 

“Exactly!” 

“I’m gonna miss that while I’m on tour.” 

There’s a tinge of sadness in his voice that makes Adaine study his expression more closely. She finds that Gorgug is very hard to read, harder than most of their friends. “Are you excited for the tour?” 

“Yeah,” says Gorgug slowly, taking his arm from around her shoulders and sticking his hand in his pocket. “I really like playing, and I’m excited about our songs. And my bio dad is gonna meet up with us and play with us at a couple of the shows! So that’ll be really cool.”

“But?” Adaine prompts gently at the clearly-unfinished thought.

“Well it’s just...every time Fig talks about being a rockstar, it’s like, parties and signing autographs and kissing. She says it like that’s the best thing in the world.” 

“Gross,” says Adaine. 

“Yeah, I don’t know.” Gorgug kicks a big chunk of snow down the road. “I mean it sounds kinda fun when Fig talks about it, but…”

“You don’t  _ have  _ to like all the same things Fig likes,” Adaine points out. 

“That’s true,” says Gorgug thoughtfully. “I just like parties when they’re with you guys. And I like kissing Zelda, not a whole bunch of random people.”

“Just text me any time you’re at a party that sucks,” Adaine says. “Or text Riz. We’ll commiserate with you.”

“Thanks,” says Gorgug, looking down at her with that soft grin of his. 

“And hey, if it sucks, it’s a pretty short tour. You’ll be back by spring break.” 

"I  _ am  _ excited,” says Gorgug. “I'm just gonna miss you guys.”

“We’re gonna miss you too,” says Adaine, looping her arm through his. 

“And I’m gonna miss my parents. And Zelda."

"Where's Zelda today?" asks Adaine. 

"She and her family do this thing for the Solstice where they go out in the woods and fly into rages and do these wild dances. And eat a bunch of grapes, I think? It’s a satyr thing.” 

“That kind of sounds like fun,” Adaine muses. “To just go completely wild for a few days.” 

Gorgug gives her a rather odd look. “Maybe you should take some Barbarian classes. It  _ does  _ kind of feel good.” 

Adaine files that thought away for later as she and Gorgug catch up to the rest of their friends. The sun has fully set by now, and a crescent moon shines above them, occasionally eclipsed by clouds drifting across the sky. The magical streetlamps of Elmville are clicking on. Fig and Fabian appear to  _ still  _ be arguing about who would have won the snowball fight. 

Jawbone's small house is already full when they get there. The plan was to have a close, intimate Solstice gathering, just the Bad Kids and their families, and Zayn because Adaine couldn't stand the idea of him sitting alone in a graveyard as much as he assured her that that was what he wanted to do, and 'families' of course included Cathilda, and 17 people is really a lot for a house that until May was only home to Jawbone and Tracker. 

"Maybe we should look for a bigger place," Sandralynn shouts to Jawbone across the bustling kitchen full of people carrying plates out to the dining room and stealing bites of fresh-out-of-the-oven rolls and cookies that are definitely supposed to be for  _ after _ dinner. Adaine catches Fig's eye as both of them distinctly note the word "we" in that sentence. Fig raises her eyebrows and shrugs. Adaine smiles. 

Despite her love for everyone in the room, it's very hot and chaotic and Adaine can feel her chest getting tight, so she slips out into the living room. There are only two people in there, but unfortunately those two are Gilear and Hillariel, and Hillariel is sitting on the back of the couch in a red velvet dress that is  _ way _ nicer than what anyone else is wearing and has one hand on Gilear's cheek, and Gilear has a milky smile on his face, and Adaine very quickly moves through the living room into the hallway. 

She almost runs directly into Kristen, who’s coming back from the room she and Adaine have been sharing since Kristen officially moved out of her parents’ house at the end of the summer. Kristen stumbles back slightly to avoid crashing into Adaine, and as she does so, Adaine catches a glimpse of a gold chain that had previously been hidden under Kristen’s puffy coat. 

“Is that a new necklace?” Adaine asks. 

“Oh!” Kristen’s fingers go up to the chain, and Adaine can see now four golden charms hanging from it: a sun, a moon, an ear of corn, and an exclamation point. “Yeah it’s actually...it was my Solstice present from Bucky. We got breakfast together today.” 

Adaine knows Kristen never talks to her parents, but she does meet with Bucky, the oldest of her three younger brothers, once every few weeks. “That’s really good,” says Adaine softly. “What are the symbols for?” 

“He says it’s for all the gods that are important. Which like, still kind of a touchy subject, but I don’t know. I think it’s sweet. The exclamation point for YES!, the moon for Lida because of Tracker, the sun for Sol because that’s who Bucky’s going to be a paladin of, the corn for Helio. I thought about taking that one off but...I’m leaving it for now.”

“What a good kid,” says Adaine. 

“He really is,” says Kristen. “He wants to go to Aguefort next year but my parents won’t let him. Apparently Aguefort ‘corrupted’ me.” 

“Well, they have a point there,” Adaine says.

Kristen responds to the half-joke with a half-smile. “Did you know they photoshopped me into their Solstice card this year?” 

“They did  _ what _ ?” 

“Yeah, I guess they want us to look like we’re all still one big happy family, or whatever. So they just took a picture and added an old picture of me to it. Bucky showed me, it looks really dumb.” Kristen’s clearly trying very hard to pretend she doesn’t care. 

“Well, fuck them, they don’t deserve you,” says Adaine. 

“Yeah,” says Kristen, slowly. “No, that’s true.” 

It’s true, but it doesn’t always help. Adaine knows that better than anyone. 

They stand in silence for a second, in the hallway outside the room they share, which is safe and comfortable and built with love, but which still doesn’t  _ quite  _ feel like home.

“Anyway,” says Kristen, a little more stubbornness creeping into her voice. “I chose this family.” 

“You’re  _ choosing  _ this family.” 

“Yeah.” 

“ _ We  _ should send out a Solstice card next year,” Adaine says. “All 17 of us.” 

That, finally, makes Kristen really smile. 

In her pocket, Adaine's crystal chimes. A Fallinel area code. She rolls her eyes. "Oracle business never stops," she says by means of explanation to Kristen. Adaine's relationship with the government of Fallinel has been strained at best, and while Principal Aguefort has assured her that the Fallinel elves are "pretentious dickheads" and "not worth her time" and that he'll always back her up if they try anything, he's also counseled that she should at least try to work with them while she can. 

So she squeezes through the kitchen with a smile and wave at Zayn, who looks like he drifted in through the window, and slips out the front door to stand just outside, shivering slightly in the freezing air.

"Hello, this is Adaine Abernant." 

"Adaine?" 

The ice that shoots through Adaine’s veins has nothing to do with the cold. “M...mom?”

“Hello, Adaine.” Her mother’s voice is tight, as always, but there’s something else in it, too--nervousness, maybe, or...relief? “I trust you’re doing well.” 

“I...I am, thanks.” Adaine says automatically. And then she suddenly gets very angry.  _ I trust you’re well _ , what’s  _ that  _ supposed to mean? As if her mother had ever checked, or cared. As if she’d visited, even once, when Adaine was sitting in jail for weeks. As if she hadn’t just left town and never looked back.  _ I trust you’re doing well _ . 

“That’s...good,” says Adaine’s mother. “I’m glad to hear that.” 

“What do you want?” Adaine snaps, drawing her jacket, which is much too thin, closer around herself. 

“You don’t need to yell at me, I just wanted to wish you a happy Solstice,” says her mother mildly. 

Adaine exhales, and closes her eyes. “Happy Solstice, Mother,” she says, coolly. “Is that all?” 

There’s a moment of silence on the other side of the crystal. Adaine hears her mother inhale, as if she’s about to say something else, but then she simply says, “That’s all. Happy Solstice, Adaine. I miss you. I’m sure your father and sister do, as well.”

Adaine has no idea how to respond to that.  _ Does  _ Aelwyn miss her, in whatever fancy prison she’s in? Has her father thought about Adaine, even once?

“Goodbye,” she says in a very small voice, and she hangs up and shoves the crystal in her pocket, like it can’t hurt her if she can’t see it. 

_ Damn  _ it. There was a  _ reason  _ Adaine was hiding in Riz’s office distracting herself with mysteries all day, a  _ reason  _ she jumped at the chance to go play in the snow for an hour, a  _ reason  _ she suggested to Jawbone that they host a meal for everyone in the first place. 

Her memories of Solstice in Fallinel are mostly of uncomfortable dresses and too many ribbons in her hair at big state parties, of adult elves drinking wine and pinching her cheeks and making boring speeches and singing floaty songs. But she remembers other things, too--her and Aelwyn daring each other to climb to the top of the ice sculpture, casting cantrips at each other under the nose of the creepy Minister of Necromancy and giggling about it. Her mother, sneaking them cookies and eggnog before they were supposed to be brought out of the kitchen. Even her father, giving Adaine a beautifully wrapped spellbook and telling her "you'll be a great wizard some day, if you go to a good Arcane Academy and really apply yourself. You're my daughter, I know you have it in you."

Adaine doesn’t notice that she’s started crying until the tears freeze. They almost feel sticky.

Behind her, she hears the door open, and she hastily wipes her hand over her face. 

A single large hand rests lightly on her shoulder. "You okay, Adaine?" says Jawbone. "Who were you talking to?"

"My...my mother, of all people."

"Really?" Jawbone raises one bushy eyebrow. "Now what did  _ she _ want?"

"I don't know," says Adaine, with a small, slightly hysterical laugh. "I don't  _ know _ !" 

Jawbone doesn’t say anything, just gently rubs Adaine's back, lets her lean into his warm, solid form. She takes a deep, shuddery breath, but she doesn't cry any more. It's starting, very slowly, to snow. 

“Wanna talk about it now?” Jawbone asks quietly.

“Not really.” She will talk about it, later. She needs to think about it first. 

"It's fucking dark out here," says Jawbone after another moment of silence. "It's like, six pm and it looks like midnight." 

“I don’t like it,” says Adaine. “It’s too dark and it’s too cold.”

“That’s the thing about the Solstice though, right?” says Jawbone. “Longest night of the year. Meaning tomorrow night will be shorter. The sun will go down a little later. There’ll be a little more light, every day.”

From the house behind them, there’s a loud crash, and then what sounds like an accordian. Adaine winces. 

“Shouldn’t have left Gilear in charge,” Jawbone mutters. He squeezes Adaine’s shoulders, and then steps away. “You comin’ back in?” 

“Just a minute,” says Adaine, giving Jawbone a small smile. 

“Alright. Don’t stay too long, it’s fuckin’ cold.” 

“I won’t,” says Adaine. “Thanks, Jawbone. For...for everything.” 

Jawbone smiles. “Love ya, kiddo.” 

The snow is falling faster now, sparkling slightly in the light of the magical streetlamps, and the air is starting to take on a peculiar quietness. Adaine breathes out, watches her own breath puff in front of her. She takes in the quiet street, the lights in peoples’ windows and hung on the edge of rooftops, the shadows of celebrations moving inside. 

She glances over her shoulder at Jawbone’s house. She can see through the big bay window into the warm kitchen. Jawbone and Sandralynn are both standing at the stove, Jawbone holding out a spoonful of gravy for Sandralynn to taste. Fabian is sitting on the windowsill, a roll in one hand while the other gesticulates wildly. Riz is perched next to him, clearly the only person who’s actually listening to whatever he’s saying. Gorgug is sitting at the table, headphones around his neck and a soft smile on his face. Kristen is sitting next to him, and Tracker is standing behind her, arms looped around her neck. Zayn is hovering slightly above and behind Tracker, all four of them intent on something Kristen is showing them on her Crystal. 

Adaine can’t see the living room, but she can picture it: Sklonda in her pine tree sweater, Hillarial with a glass of wine in her hand, Gilear picking some stain off his shirt, Gorthalax squeezing his massive shoulders into a corner, the Thistlesprings and Cathilda discussing either cookies or weapons with no in between. 

Last year at this time, Adaine was still living at home, having tense conversations with her parents and not even knowing what Aelwyn was getting up to in the room right next door. Last year they were all still constantly haunted by the fact that Penny and the other girls were still trapped in palimpsests, and they hadn’t saved them. Last year Adaine was still having panic attacks almost every single day. 

There’s a sudden burst of noise from the kitchen, and Adaine turns around again just in time to see Fig leap up onto a chair and strike a chord on her bass, then launch into a rock rendition of a traditional carol. As near as Adaine can tell, no one asked for this, but they’re all accepting it, joining in with rowdy, out-of-tune voices. 

Things aren’t perfect, but they’re better. They’re getting better. 

And that’s what the Solstice is about, right? The idea that tomorrow will be better. A little more light, every day from here on out. 

Adaine takes one more deep breath and lets a few more snowflakes land, soft and wet, on her cheeks. Then she turns and goes back inside, where it’s warm, and people who love her are waiting for her. 

**Author's Note:**

> title from "I'll Be Home for Christmas." somewhat influenced by RelientK's "Merry Christmas, Here's To Many More" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvhc3gabJcQ)  
> find me at drinkingdeadpeopletea.com, and happy holidays!!!! <3


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